thewren

my forays through love and other gastronomical stories

Wade In The Water — June 10, 2018

Wade In The Water

   Hanlon’s Point is one of the few beaches in Ontario where clothing is optional. Today, I took off all of my clothes in celebration of my fifty pound weight loss and buff if aged body.

I went in to the frigid waters of Lake Ontario to baptize myself, to mikvah myself,  to purify myself so that when I came out of the lake, I would be cleansed, I would be healed, I would be reborn.

And I did, and I was.

This is a selfie of naked me I took at Hanlon’s Point to commemorate the moment.


Cue Eva Cassidy’s ‘Wade In The Water.’

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Moebius Syndrome and Me: Trying So Hard To Be Contained — June 8, 2018
3 a.m. — June 5, 2018
Moebius Syndrome and Me: Empaths and Boundaries and Rage, Oh My! — June 4, 2018
finding the monster within — June 3, 2018
This Is The Place Where I Rest — June 2, 2018

This Is The Place Where I Rest

 

this is the place where i rest

learning how

to stop

starving

then

bingeing
then
freefalling

has been a challenge

for me

beginning with

my arrival

no body

there to

soften my fall.

i had no choice
i

fell

mouth first

into food

then cigarettes

then men

not yet understanding
my own carnal appetites

always looking for

comfort

always looking

for faster and

faster ways

to stop feeling

my pain

till one day

i found myself

standing on

the tracks
waiting

for a

train

with faulty brakes

to break me

into ten million

little pieces

so that

i would

finally feel

no thing

at all

deciding at the

very last

moment that

this

was not the day

that i died.

marrying robert

was

a sin

against myself

but i

so desperate for a

tribe of little

me’s and

my family’s

acceptance

failed to hear

my timorous voice

that whispered softly

“no no no.”

this time around

i will fall

only when

when i trust

enough

to know

when

i can

safely release

into her love

saying yes

to kindness

and no

to harshness

breathing in

breathing out

embracing

the all of me

over

and over

and over

again.

k.a.l.

The Lesbian Chronicles: Taking Back The C word. — June 1, 2018

The Lesbian Chronicles: Taking Back The C word.

This short piece was written in light of certain references lately in the media to the word cunt. The origin of the word comes from the phrase rabbit hole. I love thinking about all the little bunnies curled up in their hole. Let us take back the word cunt from being an ugly swear word that demeans women, to a beautiful and strong descriptor of a passionately creative woman.

Moebius Syndrome and Me: Boundaries —
They Call Me Mellow Yellow. (That’s Right) — May 31, 2018
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