Lately I have been searching for goodness. Not looking through rose colored glasses as before, as that distorted my true and clear vision, but by simply honoring the good that has already made a soft landing in my life.
This can be as simple as appreciating a doggie kiss from my circus puppy Lucille, or as complex as excavating the beauty from the abyss of my relationship with my ex- partner Jane.
Last night I had a wonderful dream. I was sitting in a light filled room when a beautiful woman who resembled Julie Andrews came into the room and sat down next to me. She took my hand and for the first time in my life, I felt complete. She spoke to me in her beautiful British accent:
“Just allow the healing in Katharine, allow the healing to flow through you.” I woke up soon after and just lay in my bed, letting my thirsty soul drink in her words.
Due to the many circumstances of trauma in my life, I felt the need to keep my heart closed. Now a year into my sobriety, I will try my best to allow my heart to open into: healing, beauty and goodness.
I am making Allow in the Good my new mission statement, so that when I feel triggered I will remind myself to:
1. Take three deep healing breaths.
2. Soften my heart and trust in my own innate worth- ability.
3. Try to search for the good in every situation – even if I need to use my shovel to find the gift hidden in the morass.
I now raise my glass of O.J in a toast to the beautiful day as I eagerly await the nine o’clock hour so I can watch the finale of Scandal, Go Olivia, Go!