Most people like people who are like themselves, herein lies my problem. Because I have yet to meet someone just like me, I end up choosing lovers who I like for reasons that are rather random. Here is just one – beautiful hands.

I  am born under the sign of Libra and Libra is ruled by Venus. Venus is the planet of love, relationships, and beauty. It stands to reason then, when I meet a woman who has beautiful strong hands I most often fall a little bit in love . I imagine those beautiful hands  building  an outdoor hot tub (because I have always wanted an outdoor hot tub custom built just for me by my own sexy handy dyke) and while that is a worthy fantasy after that tub is built and we are chillin’ in the tubby, I have very little to say to said dyke.

I am a series of anomalies wrapped in a tiny but chubby body. I read the newspaper every day so I am well aware of current events but choose not to discuss politics or business or the state of the world, choosing instead to talk almost obsessively (according to most dykes I have dated) about Relationship. This does not go over well with most dykes who would rather take a blow to the head, rather than talk about ‘us’.  I am a voracious reader who prefers not to talk about the books I have read, but choose to keep them close to my heart.  I am a Jew who goes to my local LGBT church. I am J.A.P who doesn’t wear makeup or blow dry her hair, but loves to frequent five star hotels. I eschew jewelry but am obsessed with my oversized gold Rolex. I am an expansive relational woman who finds other expansive relational women too much –  hence my trajectory toward the cold contained W.A.S.P dyke; who then rejects my wild heathen ways. Oh well, it is what it is, and I am what I am. As Doris Day has sung ‘Que sera sera’. The Toronto Film Festival begins this week, and I am off to stand in line in the rain to see if can purchase a ticket for the film ‘Freeheld’ . Perhaps if the fates allow, I shall be standing in line when a gallant dyke offers me the shelter of her umbrella.

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